'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[colinr0380]

Behold, the worst thing you’ll ever read

Was positive this was just hyperbole, but nope! That is one of the most unbelievably stupid things I've ever read. But considering how it's making the rounds on social media, that was probably by design.

I remember when I actually made an effort to read AV Club articles.

Same here. And I know its the 'serious side' of things but I also miss the time when The Onion used to be intentionally satirical and not accidentally so.

[dwk]

I also remember when I did, but that was they also made efforts writing those.
Plus, who knows, maybe this has been written by AI !

I saw someone suggest this on the place formerly known as Twitter and they were met with replies from people that said they took film classes taught by the author of that idiotic article.

[furbicide]

I think I briefly owned that exact same hat when I was 19.

http://www.lafca.net/critics/Ray_Greene.php

[MichaelB]

His association with boxoffice.com presumably explains his weird fixation on box office performance as a gauge of artistic merit, even though this is clearly deranged from any more objective standpoint.

[TechnicolorAcid]

Maybe he studied schlock for his documentary so much that he didn't think that other films had possible value outside of the surface level stuff and his brain just sorta rotted from all the exploitation. Believe me, I've seen avid schlock fans on Letterboxd give just negative criticism of more slow driven work because they are intentionally slow and require the viewer to think about the film in vivid detail, which for obvious reasons they typically don't care to do because they're used to watching schlock with little to no substance. Although Mr. Greene seems much more vicious than those schlock fans with his opinions so it's most likely something more than that.

[domino harvey]

This dvd has many good musical shorts. what i like about it is it contains so many hot blonde ladies that sing and are just plain adorable and hot as hellll.it makes me relieve my stress and everything. It sends me to a world that is so heavenly that will never happen again.
The discs contain rare Two Tone and Technicolor shorts which I love by the way. It is so entertaining, I watched my favorite short film about 8-10 times a year. I watch this many times to stay away from liberal lunatics that are now degenerating the society to the bottom. Back when there was a time when society was normal, no offended by everything, and of course... communism was ILLEGAL in USA unlike today
12 people found this helpful

[okcmaxk]

Vitaphone two-reelers: the last gasp of democracy

[therewillbeblus]

I'm surprised only 12 people found that to be helpful in deciding not to purchase whatever the DVD set is

[domino harvey]

This is a wonderful, simple love story. The scenes are glorious. Paget is gorgeous. Her dance scene is downright sensual - as opposed to the trashy lewd 'dancing' we put up with today. It’s a feast for the eyes.

I love that this commentator feels that Paget’s numbers in Lang’s film are functionally any different than pole dancing… they might need their lewdness meter checked

[TechnicolorAcid]

To be fair to the reviewer most pole dancers generally have more clothing than Paget in that scene did, although it may have just been his hormones talking.

[domino harvey]

This movie was terrible it should not be released to anyone it must have been Henry Fonda's real early movie he was the only bright light. I would suggest that all of the prints should be burned.

[colinr0380]

A review of On Golden Pond?

[Randall Maysin Again]

all of the prints should be burned.

On Golden Pond?

Now, this I could get behind.

[Randall Maysin Again]

It probably is a review of On Golden Pond. At least, I agree with this random person that Henry Fonda is the only remotely positive or deserving element of that film!

[Randall Maysin Again]

The Entire Civilized World, the 1982 Academy Awards, etc. wrote: "On Golden Pond! What a delicious shit sandwich!

"

[domino harvey]

all of the prints should be burned.

On Golden Pond?

Now, this I could get behind.

Nope

SpoilerShow

The Return of Frank James

[furbicide]

IMDb parents guide is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you're going to get:

Pervasive & Explicit Full Female Nudity with Some Male Equivalency AND Pervasive & Graphic Sex inclusive of a female's child-like masturbation with fetishistic objects, her pubescent to adult progression of mass hyper-sexual activities followed by her proclivities in the Sex Industry featuring extensive & explicit full female nudity of several female Sex Workers depicting abundant graphic lengthy sex scenarios in Brothels inclusive of voyeurism & sexual violence.

None other than the top content warning for

SpoilerShow

Yorgos Lanthimos's Poor Things

[Cash Flagg]

Typical high quality packaging but I hate the hairy man-belly and hairy man-back.
I thought I could look past it but I cannot. I'm not a fan of the idea of the art in general but if it were a woman I would make do.

[colinr0380]

Obviously a review for American Werewolf in London!

(If it was hairy woman back, that would be American Werewolf In Paris)

[Gregory]

A lot of people who like Emma Stone are upset about The Curse at Rotten Tomatoes (audience rating currently 36%).
A few example reviews:

I don't like how left the main female Character is I watched the whole season* and they don't like the blue flag for cops and she hates guns, gave me the ick other than that it was an ok show just hard to listen to.

[*Untrue: when this review posted, half the season had been released, and the blue-line flag-related moments in the script were brief. Fortunately there are 1,175+ episodes of Cops available for this reviewer to watch.]

The main guy should either be hot or be funny. If he's going to be a sidekick, pick a lane — lover or jester.

Its no The King of Queens.

You get the shtick in two minutes — elite self absorbed Hollywood types looking down their nose at normal people. You can't out Larry David Larry David.

If it's like food, it tastes like land. I prefer rewatching old shows than this.

[Matt]

Typical high quality packaging but I hate the hairy man-belly and hairy man-back.
I thought I could look past it but I cannot. I'm not a fan of the idea of the art in general but if it were a woman I would make do.

Is this for the Vinegar Syndrome eXistenZ? I thought it was a surprising choice for the slipcover as well and I’m generally okay with a hairy man-belly.

[Finch]

Yup, the comment was directed at the eXistenZ packaging.

[jazzo]

This review is spectacular in so many ways, I almost feel like John Demetry is just Zack Snyder’s assistant using AI to produce a review of Rebel Moon :

https://boxd.it/5ldt71

The best thing I’ve read in the one and a half days that have lapsed in 2024, though I have serious doubts it can be beat.

[jazzo]

And his bio is a great chaser!

[domino harvey]

Rebel Moon dropped my jaw like no movie since De Palma’s 2002 Femme Fatale—the greatest film of the 21st century.

Time for me to quit the internet again