The Jeffrey Wells Thread

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domino harvey
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:42 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#252 Post by domino harvey » Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:27 pm

I'm already dry heaving and I'm only two paragraphs in

Perkins Cobb
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:49 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#253 Post by Perkins Cobb » Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:03 pm

Somewhere in Los Angeles (or Nizhny Novgorod, I guess) there is a "person of good stock with a fruit-loop aspect built in" who just dodged one gigantic bullet.

calculus entrophy
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:32 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#254 Post by calculus entrophy » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:04 pm

The phrase "couldn't happen to a nicer guy" has never fit better. Won't be surprised to see his heartbroken carcass wash up one day while on my daily bike past La Piedra,

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swo17
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:25 am
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#255 Post by swo17 » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:13 pm

Sometimes I get sad that I am not a woman because I can never truly know the love of Jeffrey Wells.

calculus entrophy
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:32 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#256 Post by calculus entrophy » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:29 pm

What's most striking about the story is how banal it is for LA. It's far harder NOT to get a green card marriage to a soul sucking, money hungry parasite.

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domino harvey
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#257 Post by domino harvey » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:32 pm

I don't remember that song in La La Land

calculus entrophy
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:32 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#258 Post by calculus entrophy » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:36 pm

I'm banging away on the keyboard right now, this ditty is writing itself :)

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bottled spider
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#259 Post by bottled spider » Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:03 pm

I'd like to believe SRO means senior reactor operator, per wikipedia, but I have a feeling it means Significant Russian Other.

I find his blundering, oblivious crassitude rather endearing, for about five minutes.

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The Elegant Dandy Fop
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2004 3:25 am
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#260 Post by The Elegant Dandy Fop » Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:07 pm

I had a run-in with Sasha Stone a few years ago. At a old job of mine, she came in as a rude, awkward leech who wanted to harass talent from a movie. When I told her she had to leave, she insisted she was their friend and a famous critic. She seemed peeved when I told her I never heard of her and was adamant that she had to go. A very unpleasant woman.

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Gregory
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:07 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#261 Post by Gregory » Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:23 pm

bottled spider wrote:I'd like to believe SRO means senior reactor operator, per wikipedia, but I have a feeling it means Significant Russian Other.
Yes, that's right. I guess it's less awful than some of the alternatives like (from the bottom of the post) "the hank of blonde hair" (the HOBH)

I liked how he expressed his gratitude to Sasha Stone by saying "[She] woke me. She mentioned the possible rape of Nanking if I get divorced, and that sent my head into a tailspin," causing Stone to comment in order to dispute that choice of words: "I would never use that word. That's 100% Jeff." Indeed.

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tenia
Ask Me About My Bassoon
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#262 Post by tenia » Mon May 01, 2017 5:03 am

Yes, this sums up pretty much how the way of thinking is typical Wells. I actually have trouble feeling bad for him, but on the other hand, I suppose she didnt fall in love with his kind-hearted open-minded personality.

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colinr0380
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:30 pm
Location: Chapel-en-le-Frith, Derbyshire, UK

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#263 Post by colinr0380 » Mon May 01, 2017 7:53 am

Well, he is making those big film critic bucks so this was obviously inevitable!

(Do people really refer to their relationship as having "launched back in January"? Like Steve Jobs revealing the latest Apple product?)

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tenia
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#264 Post by tenia » Mon May 01, 2017 8:53 am

The whole article seems like he's describing the rollout of a company strategic project rather than a sentimental relationship.

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matrixschmatrix
Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 11:26 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#265 Post by matrixschmatrix » Mon May 01, 2017 10:09 am

I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than
I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.

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Black Hat
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2011 5:34 pm
Location: NYC

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#266 Post by Black Hat » Mon May 01, 2017 10:54 am

The Elegant Dandy Fop wrote:I had a run-in with Sasha Stone a few years ago. At a old job of mine, she came in as a rude, awkward leech who wanted to harass talent from a movie. When I told her she had to leave, she insisted she was their friend and a famous critic. She seemed peeved when I told her I never heard of her and was adamant that she had to go. A very unpleasant woman.
She should be renamed Screech, just the worst.

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Gregory
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:07 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#267 Post by Gregory » Mon May 01, 2017 12:56 pm

matrixschmatrix wrote:I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than
I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.
From the post a week ago, announcing the planned wedding:
We’ve been shoulder-shrugging about the doubters. They might be right, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. ... If it doesn’t work out, I’ll survive. I’ll always have the column, which I’ve been married to for 18 and 1/2 years now. But I suspect it will, at least for a few years. Or maybe longer. She’s beautiful and blonde and laughs easily.
Sounds like totally solid ground for buying diamonds, which say "forever," getting married, and merging finances.

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tenia
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Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#268 Post by tenia » Mon May 01, 2017 12:58 pm

matrixschmatrix wrote:I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than
I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.
The list of all the things he paid for her isn't far behind.

At least, this time, he won't have to ask a director to get some nudies of her.

calculus entrophy
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:32 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#269 Post by calculus entrophy » Mon May 01, 2017 1:16 pm

It's the classic Hollywood courtship, complete with a total lack of self introspection.

1. Boy Meets Girl
2. Boy spends Money
3. Girl requests last 10 years of tax returns
4. Boy requests prenup
5. Girl Meets New Boy
6. Go to step 1.

Perkins Cobb
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:49 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#270 Post by Perkins Cobb » Mon May 01, 2017 1:22 pm

I love how all his comment-section acolytes are like, "Dude, kick that Russian you just dumped out of your apartment before she wrecks the place" instead of "You are an actual sociopath."

calculus entrophy
Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 11:32 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#271 Post by calculus entrophy » Mon May 01, 2017 1:24 pm

I'm just worried about the fact that he is responsible for a cat.

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matrixschmatrix
Joined: Tue May 25, 2010 11:26 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#272 Post by matrixschmatrix » Mon May 01, 2017 1:36 pm

I sincerely hope she steals the cat and also the incredible luxuries (a refurbished PowerBook! a Mini Cooper!) he tries to dazzle us with.

There is a certain logic that makes it clear she couldn't possibly actually love him, namely that he is Jeffrey Wells, and how could anyone

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Black Hat
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2011 5:34 pm
Location: NYC

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#273 Post by Black Hat » Mon May 01, 2017 2:25 pm

Perkins Cobb wrote:I love how all his comment-section acolytes are like, "Dude, kick that Russian you just dumped out of your apartment before she wrecks the place" instead of "You are an actual sociopath."
No the best part was the guy who said pay for my plane ticket and I'll go there to save your fish from her. The old con to save you from being conned trick.

Perkins Cobb
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:49 pm

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#274 Post by Perkins Cobb » Mon May 01, 2017 2:43 pm

It's a Jim Thompson novel in which Wells is the mark and Sasha Stone, the Russian bride, and some long-suffering Hollywood Elsewhere commenter-stooge are the grifters.

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whaleallright
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2005 12:56 am

Re: The Jeffrey Wells Thread

#275 Post by whaleallright » Mon May 01, 2017 7:35 pm

This guy (who I only ever learn about through this forum) does remind me of Trump in that there's obviously something desperately wrong with him—a very basic, pervasive personality defect—but he's managed to parlay that something into a kind of success, albeit the sort of success that generates more hate than anything else. The internet—especially the proliferation of social-media celebrity—has really made me wonder how many people like this are out there, and what it means that we have a system that seemingly rewards the worst of them.

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