The Jeffrey Wells Thread

[senseabove]

He’s really got it out for UG. It provoked this earlier in the month:

“In other words not one person so far feels as I do. And I’m telling you the truth, mon freres. Which is why you can’t trust “critics”, per se. Because they’re all living in their own little fickle cubbyholes while Hollywood Elsewhere is standing tall and firm with its feet planted on the sidewalk and looking dead smack at cosmic reality each and every minute of every day…no let-up.”

[colinr0380]

These days I just like thinking of Jeffrey Wells as the Neil Breen of film criticism.

[DarkImbecile]

[jedgeco]

Anybody call him yet?

[domino harvey]

This just makes me kind of sad. Grandpa's losing it

[Gregory]

Is that his license number in the highlighted box?
"Someone please steal my identity! ... Anyone?"

And he liked Knives Out but still had to yell at Rian Johnson about "HIPSTER PANTS":

“Incidentally, I HATED the cut of her pants cuffs, riding three or four inches above the sneaker line. Only hipster assholes wear pants that are cut like that. Are you telling me that Ana’s character, a Paraguayan woman who lives on a modest salary with her family in a grubby, smallish apartment, is going to wear HIGH-CUFF HIPSTER PANTS? I don’t think so!”

Johnson reply: “So happy you dug it, man. Though there goes our shot at a BEST PANTS nom.”

[Ishmael]

Anybody call him yet?

Contacting him now. "Hate to do this via text big guy but we need to break up. I can’t date a man who isn’t able to deliver me chicken mcnuggets and non-alcoholic beer and drive me to the proctologist twice a week. Hope you like taking the bus, hot pants"

[Brian C]

I thought maybe I’d give him a call to see if he had any Vinessa Shaw nude pics he could send me.