The Jeffrey Wells Thread

[cdnchris]

That might have been what it was! Ha! The saying stuck with me but couldn't remember where I came across it.

[swo17]

That's a great quote of course, but the way Chris put it to be about self-awareness as to the course of your own life feels truthful in a whole other way

[Maurice Micklewhite]

Raylan Givens!

You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

This line is frequently quoted in the HE comments section.

[zedz]

Raylan Givens!

You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.

That goes much further back than Justified, but it’s a great line wherever it originated.

[Maurice Micklewhite]

Has Jeff Wells gone full MAGA?

https://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2021/09 ... 5522710722

One commentator wrote some clearly racist garbage about Markle. You don't have to be a Markle supporter to see this as what it is.

Markle doesn't have to but if you go around dunking on white people for racism, privilege, supremacy, etc, which she does, one has to wonder why she prefers whites and wants her kids to look like them if they are so incurably bad. You can fight for one's rights without poo-pooing the other community but if you do than overwhelming dating/marriage preference for that community makes one wonder about your true motives. Also see AOC, Ilhan Omar, Kamala Harris, Jordan Peele, Kumail Nanjani. They all dunk on whites and yet married/date whites.

Wells assures us that - while he deplores "actual racism" - "her relationship history speaks for itself."

I hate knee-jerk pearl-clutchers who default to “I smell racism!” every second or third comment. I’ve had it with you. I despise and am repelled by actual racism as much as anyone else, and I'm up to here with hysterical accusations and attempts to condemn willy-nilly.

And as far as Markle is concerned, she's an ambitious player. She's always gone for the power & the dough. Her relationship history speaks for itself

[Jack Kubrick]

Lest we all forget his heart-touching tribute to Alex Trebek, landing on this humble bragging.

Be that as it may, when historians do their research about what life was really like in this town and what really mattered deep down, they would be foolish to ignore the deep-dish samurai rumblehog ruminations on Hollywood Elsewhere. They SURE AS SHIT won't be exploring the Jeopardy archives, I can tell you that.

[Never Cursed]

Wells just spoiled the ending to No Time To Die in the first sentence and subject line of his reaction blog post - not sure if that's an incredibly stupid move or just a hysterical one

[domino harvey]

If he’s not banned already from every studio event and function, he will be after that

[Brian C]

That’s just how you roll when you’re a deep-dish samurai rumblehog.

[Never Cursed]

Evidently he was invited to whatever screening he saw it at though - who on earth invited him to even a mildly sensitive event like this?

[bottled spider]

Lest we all forget his heart-touching tribute to Alex Trebek, landing on this humble bragging.

Be that as it may, when historians do their research about what life was really like in this town and what really mattered deep down, they would be foolish to ignore the deep-dish samurai rumblehog ruminations on Hollywood Elsewhere. They SURE AS SHIT won't be exploring the Jeopardy archives, I can tell you that.

I couldn't find rumblehog on Urban Dictionary, but deep-dish means "to place one's face in someone else's booty and motorboat it until it becomes sloppy with fecal matter usually topped off with a mystery sauce". I wonder if rumblehog was a typo for rumble log: "The placement of an erect penis between another's buttocks whilst flatulating." What samurai means in this context is anybody's guess.

[therewillbeblus]

Times like these make me so glad I'm not on Film Twitter, or any other social media outlets where this would be reposted. To think some of us have been anxiously waiting for two years on top of the announcement and production timelines to have it spoiled by a "professional" communicator..

[Never Cursed]

To be fair, no one that I saw actually reposted the info, just that Wells had posted it (though of course you should always be glad that you are not on Film Twitter...)

[domino harvey]

Anyone who wants to see the new James Bond would do well to treat this like any of the new Star Wars films and go offline until you see it because this will not stay in Wells’ corner of the internet for long

[domino harvey]

He’s pulled the original and written a long whine about how he was doing a service by spoiling it and how he should be applauded for giving his readers what they want

[Maurice Micklewhite]

No, he wasn't invited to the "No Time To Die" screening.

According to HE's Own Felix Leiter - Jordan Ruimy - it was actually Sasha Stone who spilled the beans.

I didn’t tell Jeff the ending, Sasha did. Anyways, knowing Jeff, he probably did it out of spite for not being invited to the screening. He’s, more or less, been blacklisted by every publicist in L.A.

Wells justified his decision in a "sorry, not sorry" follow-up, which he published after deleting the original post.

Invite me to a screening and ask me to sign an NDA or otherwise keep it zipped until a certain date…sure. But no invite and no NDA…tough shit. That was my viewpoint earlier today.

Wells also deleted to comments and banned users that pointed out what a pathetic move this was before putting the article behind his paywall in order to create the illusion that he has more active subscribers than he actually does.

Wells has always been an unstable loser with a victim complex, but he's now graduated into being the most tiresome person on the planet. Or, as someone commented on Twitter, this was

Another desperate move from Patreon’s favorite hobo.

[Never Cursed]

Who knows if Ruimy's claim is actually true, but I'd love it if this incident somehow took out a bunch of the worst film journo grifters in one fell swoop - if he also wants to frame, like, Grace Randolph, fine by me

[Monkey Ballz]

May I say a little something? 74 year-old [Richard] Jenkins is too old to have had an affair. The workout club manager he played in Burn After Reading, maybe, or the guy in The Visitor or the gay FBI agent in Flirting With Disaster but his Humans dad is way, way past it. Grey haired, paunchy, neck wattle…forget it. In movies as in life you’re allowed to have crazy extramarital affairs up until your early 60s (if you look good), but not beyond that.

[zedz]

Now I'll never need to wonder what you'd get if you mixed this with this:

[Maurice Micklewhite]

Just when I thought that Wells couldn't get any worse, he shows new layers of cognitive dissonance.

https://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2021/10/private-parts/

Women don’t have to worry about whether
they’re showing attractive equipment when the director shouts “action!”

I wonder why actresses might be concerned and feel vulnerable about sexually explicit sequences. Gosh, I wonder.

https://deadline.com/2007/09/creepiest- ... wood-3216/

I am on my knees, Mr. Mangold, saying thank you, thank you and thank you again for persuading Vinessa Shaw to do her first flat-out, boob-baring nude scene. I was in heaven as Crowe drew her on his notepad. Please tell me there’s somebody on the Yuma team who can slip me some stills of the shooting that day… please. I’m serious. I know you think like I do in this respect, so please … as one good hombre to another … you don’t have to be the guy who passes along the stills. Just tell the still photographer or the editor or whomever caught her as she posed. I’m not a sleazebag either — I don’t pass along stills to the Mr. Skin crowd or my friends. This would be just for my, myself & I. At the very least it would be great to grab some frame captures from the film itself. Or some unused footage of Shaw and Crowe doing whatever. Out-takes, perhaps.

He is insane.

At least one commentator displayed some sense.

I hope none of your (three? four?) women readers think I'm "white knighting" here on their behalf, but, on their behalf, I don't think you've ever written anything I disagree with more than this statement, Jeff.

To believe what you wrote, you'd have to disbelieve literally every single actress interview ever recorded where actresses opine at length about their nervousness about doing nude scenes, their begging for body doubles, their (very real) fears that nudity that isn't "artistic" enough will render them unemployable in anything but grade-Z Skinemax, etc., etc. And that's long before you get into all the horror of the casting couch that motivated decades of gratuitous nudity.

In contrast, male nudity is largely played for laughs or shock, even to this day. Which of course relieves all of the pressure between "shower" and "grower" as the point is to elicit a guffaw or two, as opposed to most women's nude scenes, which generally exist to A) titillate the audience; B) titillate the producer/director; or C) showcase the "vulnerability" of the character if they're a woman of a certain age or appearance.

Anyway... women have to care about how they look, every day, and no women moreso than actresses naked in the public eye. You might wish to choose to reflect on why that is.

[lethallyfab]

Regarding Justin Bieber’s music video ‘Ghost,’ starring Diane Keaton:

Has a grandson ever melted down this much over the death of a grandparent? If there’s one thing that was drilled into my early childhood, it was the unfortunate fact that grandparents pass on sooner rather than later as a rule. Even the most naive grandsons are acquainted with this sad inevitability, and generally respond with a nodding acceptance. I’ve never once heard or even read about a grandson being, like, gutslammed and shattered to pieces by the passing of a grandparent. Saddened and grief-struck but not decimated. It hurts but you know it’s coming, like leaves turning yellow and falling from trees. It’s not like a pet being run over by a car or a young girlfriend dying from lukemia in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Forget early childhood, I’m a full-blown adult and not being able to attend my grandmother’s funeral a few years ago absolutely gutted me. But I guess that makes me a pussy, according to Jeffrey Wells, since literally no one he knows has ever been shattered by grief. It’s such an odd thing to boast about for clout.

[tenia]

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that's not even the case around him but that's how he sees people in his entourage because it's fitting his worldview.

[Gregory]

What B&W Films Should Have Been Shot in Color?
I happen to love black-and-white for its own silver-toned luminosity, but every so often you say to yourself “good as it looks, this monochrome film would have been fascinating in color.”

Howard Hawks‘ Red River is at the top of this list. I would have dearly loved to see Billy Wilder‘s Sunset Boulevard in Techniolor…how could it have been hurt by that? And speaking of Hawks, Only Angels Have Wings and Bringing Up Baby would have been glorious in color. Which others?

Loud Latino Work Crew
There’s a Latino apartment renovation crew working in the building next door, three or four guys, and they’re being (what else?) obnoxious — shouting to the extent that their voices sound like sonic booms, playing loud sombrero ballads and singing along and occasionally going “whooo-whooo!” And it’s awful to listen to. It’s hell.

I asked myself if I should walk over to the worksite and ask these guys to consider the fact that this is West Hollywood and not East L.A. and would they mind giving the neighborhood a break with their awful Tijuana border crossing music, etc. But that wouldn’t accomplish much.

I’ve been all around the block with coarse Latinos so don’t tell me. My battles with the Hispanic Party Elephant in North Bergen. The “Loud Latinos” piece that I posted from Brooklyn in June 2010, and got in trouble over.

[Orlac]

He needs a good slap.

[tenia]

He absolutely just does. I'm also not sure what makes he thinks these are worthy of being shared on his website. Not that most of what he writes can't be deemed "you can think this but probably don't have to say it out loud".