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the requisite annoying child, the seems-too-nice-to-not-be-a-villain businessman, the "hardass" hunter/tracker, the annoying tag along 20-something characters who are there to relate to the teenage audience, and so many other tired tropes that the whole thing just becomes incredibly boring. Specifically in this film, there is a pathetically tenuous linkage to John Hammond in the form of a long lost business partner Benjamin Lockwood, who as far as I know, has never been mentioned before in any of the films, and was made up for the film. Lockwood is played by the usually excellent James Cromwell, who is nullified by one of the absolute poorest attempts at an English accent I have ever heard, not because the accent is that bad per se, but because it's hardly there. This would make some sense since Lockwood has a mansion in and apparently lives in California, but his live-in granddaughter (requisite annoying child) speaks with a perfectly natural English accent, which makes Cromwell's accent all the more puzzling.

Bryce and Chris are back to add nothing to the film, too. He has been building a cabin (!) and she has been advocating to move dinosaurs off of Jurassic World because a volcano is going to explode and kill them all. The film is ostensibly about a "rescue" of the dinosaurs that requires both Bryce and Chris as well as a small army of hapless supporting characters, including Ted Levine as the hardass tracker guy who you know will be eaten/mauled to death by dinosaurs. Midway through the film, the obvious twist that the snazzy young businessman who bankrolled the "rescue" is really out to exploit the dinosaurs to make dinosaur biological weapons happens, after which there is a dinosaur auction, and then the dinosaurs broken out are set free. That's right, the dinosaurs in this movie are basically a MacGuffin! And in case you thought the oh-so-tired plot would at least be executed in a novel, if not at least fun way, it isn't, thanks to the new 20-something characters (one of which is so annoying you want him to die almost immediately) and the child character, who all end up in the last act of the film with Bryce and Chris. Okay, that one raptor, Blue, is also here and is sort of a character, but she is not explored enough, just like the presence of B.D. Wong in both of these Jurassic World movies isn't explored enough, or how the ideas of dinosaurs as generically-altered beings being sold into slavery aren't considered. This is just a loud, dumb movie that unfortunately is also tired and old instead of exciting and innovative.

As a side note, Toby Jones is in this (doing an iffier American accent than Rafe Spall), and in his first scene, he is dressed so that he looks exactly like an overgrown schoolboy. It's really kind of creepy, especially as he's supposed to be playing this corrupt businessman, and you would think a big-budget Hollywood film would find suitable costumes for each actor with a significant part. He looks more appropriately-costumed in a different scene later in the film, but his first scene was giving me all kinds of flashbacks to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Of course, Jeff Goldblum gets basically one scene, which is two scenes and bookends the film, so that the filmmakers can counter the "he's only in one scene!" complaint. It's a complete waste of the actor and character, but hopefully he got a fat paycheck for some really easy work sitting in a chair. It's also fun to see Ted Levine and Geraldine Chaplin, as well as a short cameo from Peter Jason as a Senator, but that's it, really.