The Armond White Thread

[Gregory]

Not hard to imagine what his take would have been if Malick had made the exact same film but was also on record as a longtime Democrat. It's not about the movies, yet it doesn't seem like White is even doing well at playing to the home crowd. Many of those down in the sub-White comments basement proclaim that they avoid movies on the whole as too "liberal" or whatever, and to that ilk the Knight of Cups trailer in particular seems artistic and therefore liberal. White even backpedals over a bit of characteristically Malickian writing, calling it "poetic affectation," but in the same breath tries to entice his readers with promises of daring sensuality:

from a woman’s tempting, labial pink fingernails and her tramp-stamp tattoo “faith”...

[matrixschmatrix]

Wait, is Malick on record with any particular political affiliation?

[bdsweeney]

Not that I'm aware of. I assume White's making assumptions based on the religious aspects of Malick's work and the conservative values it often displays.

[domino harvey]

I think you're forgetting the scene where Imogen Poots wears a Wendell Willkie shirt to bed and talks about trickle down economics with Christian Bale as the camera dreamily swirls in on an American flag

[Film is Life]

We found the one critic who really is enthusiastic about Batman vs Superman.

[tenia]

We found the one critic who really is enthusiastic about Batman vs Superman.

Fanboys prefer the Nolan films for their “darkness,” which emphasized the sophomoric, pseudo-tragic elements of the Batman graphic novels. But Snyder’s more adult treatment finds the material’s emotional core. This displeases the fanboy/hipster whose adolescent embarrassment about feelings was exploited through Nolan’s emotionless violence and post–9/11 nihilism.

Cause nothing's deeper than simplistic antagonistic comparisons.

[solaris72]

Wait, is Malick on record with any particular political affiliation?

He's exec producing a doc on Wendell Berry, FWIW. Which doesn't exactly suggest a ton of common ground with AW's politics. (Although, AW is probably a Contraritarian before anything else?)

[matrixschmatrix]

White wrote another, potentially more illuminating article about what worked for him in Batman v. Superman

[Big Ben]

White wrote another, potentially more illuminating article about what worked for him in Batman v. Superman

Say what you want about White but don't ever tell me isn't amusing.

SpoilerShow

...using masculine sex appeal to examine America’s current political confusion.

This part in particular made me smile.

[McCrutchy]

White wrote another, potentially more illuminating article about what worked for him in Batman v. Superman

Well, at least we know where WB can get pull quotes from for the video box art.

SpoilerShow

"Equivalent to a hate fuck." - Armond White (Out Magazine)

"Affleck’s puffy-chin adult petulance...may be the moodiest performance he’s ever given" - Armond White (Out Magazine)

"Cavill...looks to be in perpetual tumescence" - Armond White (Out Magazine)

"If fanboys don’t cream...grown-up gay men surely will" - Armond White (Out Magazine)

"It is the most surreal dominance-submission dream in Hollywood history." - Armond White (Out Magazine)

Someone needs to get that article to WB's home media department immediately, to literally use it for this purpose.

[tavernier]

Armond isn't fooled by Moonlight--and blames Obama.

[goblinfootballs]

Armond isn't fooled--and blames Obama.

Somebody's been drinking the National Review kool-aid. Apparently to feel compassion is to feel pity and condescension. Classy.

[dx23]

Of course it was Armond White who gave the only negative review to Get Out.

[flyonthewall2983]

As someone who admittedly doesn't pay much attention to reviews, are critics usually this predictable?

[dx23]

Some critics have their tendencies to give better reviews to some directors and actors they like but White is on a league of his own when being a predictable hack.

[Big Ben]

He's back! Now saying that Hollywood has gone Asperger's. See here.

For clarification Asperger's no longer exists as a diagnosis. Even as someone on the spectrum myself I don't even feel mad about this as White just sort of seems to defecate opinions. I mean I can't look away but I can only really laugh at how seriously he regards himself.

Oh and he's on Twitter too. It's a one hundred and forty character goldmine of awful.

[Michael Kerpan]

Big Ben -- Only "no longer a diagnosis" in the US, I think. Europe recognized it long before the US, and still does (as the DSM does not codify psychological expertise beyond the borders of the US).

[Big Ben]

My mistake then.

I realize I may essentially be spouting oft repeated lines here but how the hell does White even think this?

Though not as meretricious as the culture remixing by that innocent amoral idiot Tarantino, Wright is essentially shallow, which is akin to what made Paul Simon a gifted yet minor artist.

Instead, Baby Driver caters to the blinkered, solipsistic state of our present-day culture; it’s an Asperger’s masterpiece.

Is it even possible to apply sophistry to film criticism? Have I had a stroke?

[domino harvey]

It seems to me he wrote the review, saw everyone else loved the film, and thus quickly added some nonsense instead of rewriting the whole thing

[matrixschmatrix]

Why does he think Asperger's entails solipsism though

[Dead or Deader]

Oh and he's on Twitter too. It's a one hundred and forty character goldmine of awful.

Who could forget about this gem of a piece!

https://twitter.com/3xchair/status/808833945102065664" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Mr Sausage]

Why does he think Asperger's entails solipsism though

Because he has no real idea what it is. He's using it as a by-word for stereotypes about millennials being self-involved, disaffected, and overwhelmingly motivated by nerd interests.

[thirtyframesasecond]

Haha, that is some brilliant understatement of Paul Simon's career though.

[Gregory]

National Review already fixed it but in his review of Okja, he was making some clumsy point about millennials being indoctrinated against capitalism by cartoons. His go-to example of this was Finding Nemo but he referred to the character as "Elmo the cartoon fish."

Millennials may not remember Lassie, Bambi, or Old Yeller, but their fond memories of, say, Elmo the cartoon fish predispose them to this sentimental provocation about a helpless animal endangered by the very capitalists who engineered him in the first place. (Children don’t perceive irony, but childish adults do.)

Yeah, "childish adults perceive irony"?

[tenia]

At some point, I think he's just trying to become an exemple in the definition of "Troll".
Troll : m. name. See : Armond White.