'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[oldsheperd]

If you want a heavy dose of how every film somehow has something to do with human sexuality then I advise you to submit your admissions paperwork to the University of New Mexico's Media Arts department.

[Mr Sausage]

Someone told me that in one of their film classes a student wrote her final paper on why Jaws is really an allegory about man's fear of the vagina. Shark=Vagina.

You wouldn't think the fear of being eaten alive by sharks needed a second explanation. I'd want to write on that paper "F via Occams Razor," but no doubt that would just be an expression of my own castration anxiety.

That said, someone made a movie out of her paper.

[matrixschmatrix]

Someone told me that in one of their film classes a student wrote her final paper on why Jaws is really an allegory about man's fear of the vagina. Shark=Vagina.

You wouldn't think the fear of being eaten alive by sharks needed a second explanation. I'd want to write on that paper "F via Occams Razor," but no doubt that would just be an expression of my own castration anxiety.

That said, someone made a movie out of her paper.

I don't know, 'fear of a murderous alien' seem fairly obvious, but there's still a lot of odd genital metaphors going on throughout the Alien series.

[zedz]

Yeah, but in that case Giger et al. went out of their way to design an alien that exploited those visual similarities. The shark's mouth in Jaws is only like a human vagina insomuch as it's an orifice, and in that respect, it's actually much more like an actual shark's mouth, if you really think about it.

[matrixschmatrix]

The Sarlacc pit, on the other hand...

[Thomas Dukenfield]

Someone told me that in one of their film classes a student wrote her final paper on why Jaws is really an allegory about man's fear of the vagina. Shark=Vagina.

Wait till she sees Teeth (2007). Her head will explode.

If we're including dumb comments about movies within film courses, I once took a class where a guy (an apparent film major, mind you) said about either Top Hat or Swing Time: "Fred Astaire only sings and dances to distract people from the fact that he can't act!" That's gotta be my favorite.

Edit: Mr. Sausage beat me to the punch with the Teeth comment. A few seconds late and a few dollars short, as usual.

[Brian C]

Isn't Teeth just an allegory about fear of sharks?

[colinr0380]

I see your Teeth and raise you the (spoiler!) twist ending of one of the stories in Grim Prairie Tales. Far scarier than vagina dentata - though it is probably no surprise to say that this will probably not be troubling my top 50 westerns list either, despite this notable scene.

[RossyG]

Someone told me that in one of their film classes a student wrote her final paper on why Jaws is really an allegory about man's fear of the vagina. Shark=Vagina.

And then rotten old Spielberg spoils it all by having the first victim be a teenage girl.

Mind you, the student might have been onto something. The film ends with a bang, wetness and a strong smell of fish.



8-[

I'll get me coat...

[Dirk]

Mind you, the student might have been onto something. The film ends with a bang, wetness and a strong smell of fish.

I'm very glad to have read this.

[RossyG]

Thanks.

[knives]

Somebody's reaction to the Kubrick quote on silents. Not his films mind you, just the quote:

Well thats how you view things, me I really dont like that Kubrickian approach to movies.
Talkies are far from worthless, you can still get great imagery and deeper meanings of the inner subtext or whatever those in the so called "high brow" community say that films have lost over the years.
I dont pay attention to that bullshit, there are not too many movies i consider "beneath me" or too dumb to watch as I could possibly have some fun out of movies.
Like Independence day, or the Flash Gordon movie.
I once mentioned i dont treat films like fine wine and honestly there should be nothing wrong with it.
i consider myself a causual movie goer, if a movie impresses me it impresses me, if it doesn't I move on.
If this is the wrong attitude to have whatever.
I will roughly quote sfdebris here:
I am not interested in watching a snooty film where you have two men in a restaurant booth arguing in French for six hours while every 12 minutes a bicycle with no rider rolls by the window.
That is not my kind of movie, but dont get me wrong I know a mindless action piece when I see one.

[Brian C]

I am not interested in watching a snooty film where you have two men in a restaurant booth arguing in French for six hours while every 12 minutes a bicycle with no rider rolls by the window.
That is not my kind of movie....

You know, I'll be honest ... that doesn't really sound like my kind of movie, either. I think I could take four hours of that, tops. Maybe five if they're at a table instead of a booth.

[knives]

Does that movie even exist? It sounds like what would happen if you mixed Rivette, Bunuel, and My Dinner with Andre in a vat.

[zedz]

That guy probably just assumes that all subtitled films are exactly like that. He wouldn't be the first!

[Brian C]

Does that movie even exist? It sounds like what would happen if you mixed Rivette, Bunuel, and My Dinner with Andre in a vat.

OK, you convinced me. I'm there.

Although instead of two men, I propose we cast Ludivine Sagnier in one of the roles. And instead of a bicycle with no rider, we have one of those 8-seat tandem cycles with only one rider. And again, I really must insist on a table instead of a booth.

[knives]

As long as the rider has no eyes I'm with you.

[MichaelB]

Does that movie even exist? It sounds like what would happen if you mixed Rivette, Bunuel, and My Dinner with Andre in a vat.

With a pinch of Marguerite Duras. In fact, that description reminds me very much of John Waters' take on Le Camion - maybe he read that in Crackpot!?

Perhaps her most impossible opus to date is The Truck. The entire film consists of the director sitting in a nondescript room with Gérard Depardieu as they read the script of the film while every ten minutes or so the monotony is replaced by yet another monotonous shot of a blue truck, endlessly but serenely driving through the French countryside. If Warhol did it for the Empire State Building, why can't Marguerite Duras do it for French trucks? All I know is that on my first trip to Cannes, in the cab from the Nice airport, I saw Marguerite's "trucks" a hundred times on the highway and felt hypnotized all over again. That's more than I can say for The Car or Car Wash.

[knives]

Okay now I'm going to have to see a Duras film.

[Thomas Dukenfield]

With a pinch of Marguerite Duras. In fact, that description reminds me very much of John Waters' take on Le Camion - maybe he read that in Crackpot!?

[colinr0380]

Ah, yes! The drive in movie that Divine and Tab Hunter go on a date to in Polyester!

[zedz]

Okay now I'm going to have to see a Duras film.

Le Camion is a great film. It's got everything you need for a successful narrative film: a script, a star, a director, a performance, lots of nice location footage and plenty of action. But Duras manages to keep all of those things neatly compartmentalized from one another. If you want the 'movie' "Le Camion", you have to put it together yourself.

[matrixschmatrix]

So this isn't quite a review, but it's among the craziest things I've ever gotten. From a guy to whom I sold a Colombo set (which has thus far taken a day longer than expected to arrive):

Dude! Like I said: Have a nice evening. Let's just assume that our tax dollars have infected a lazy, unmotivated staff. Hey! These guys do work for the federal government. That is the same government whose human resource department has seen the biggest rise in per hour earnings than any other similarly situated going concern. Not into politics. But, the only geographic area that has seen a rise in yearly earnings(not tied to bonuses) and home values is the Washington/Baltimore metro area. Do you know who I am? Take this not as a threat, but as an insight that you understand that I have already crossed this off as a loss. One can re-accumate money. One can find another girl(maybe not the girl that has scorned you or I). But,..... Ya can't get your word back or your honor! When these two qualities disintegrate from someone's soul, they are difficult, if not impossible to regain. I'll contact you tomorrow. I'll be sure to keep you briefed regarding your parcel. Do us both a favor: Please allow me to have the last word tonight. If you wish to be addressed in parables, then respond. I'd prefer to put this situation to rest tonight. Ok? I am giving you a good deal. Do you know why I bought all these DVD's about Lt. Columbo's character? No! Not to do a dime store imitation of Lt. Columbo's character. I bought them to have a better understanding about prevaricating and how lies are denuded by the prevaricator.......not Lt. Columbo! Sleep well. I'll contact you tomorrow regarding where things stand regarding our free market barter. And no! I do not have the constitution to post gossip or complain about decisions of my free will that I made in the marketplace. G'night. -(name redacted) ps- Please do not respond to my email tonight. Ok? Let's just see what happens tomorrow. Deal?

[Murdoch]

Selling on Amazon has made me realize more than ever how weird some people are, it just amazes me. Not quite as strange as that, but I once had a guy email me complaining he didn't receive his purchase half an hour before he made the purchase, in all caps.

[knives]

How is that possible (and I think that's in it's own way worst than what Matrix posted)?