Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 4K)

[Thornycroft]

Isn't Erin Brown the one and only Misty Mundae

Indeed she is. She stopped using the pseudonym over a decade ago when trying to shift away from making softcore porn, going so far as to sell her interest in it to the company that produced the three fine films whose covers you posted.

Nightmare on Elmo's Street happens to be directed by the notorious Bill Zebub, whose entire career could easily find a home in this thread.

NSFW

All real DVD covers. All currently available from Amazon.

[domino harvey]

Believe it or not, this isn't the first time Zebub has come up on the forum

[mfunk9786]

There's a pseudo-doc called S&Man on Zebub and his ilk that I saw at a film festival a few years ago. While the central gag of the film doesn't quite hit (spoiler: the central figure of the film is entirely imagined) it's worth seeing if you're curious about this kind of gritty, hyper-violent faux-snuff.

[manicsounds]

Horses! Floating Heads! Names that don't match to the pictured actors below!

[colinr0380]

Who knew that girls liked horses? These are all remakes of Au Hasard Balthazar right?

On the Bill Zebub stuff the only appropriate reaction is the "Sweet Zombie Jesus!" one from Futurama! Although I guess anyone with the presumable pesudonym taken after the Devil perhaps has some sense of irony, if apparently not taste, class, subtlety, photoshop skills or respect for personal boundaries. The lack of photoshop skills is the most egregious failing.

I'm just waiting for the Hugh Grant romantic comedy adaptation of "I Told You Not To Call The Police" which includes this potentially Oscar-worthy climactic speech:

You say you wish to call the Police? If you want to...that is, if you, ah, think it entirely necessary to go to those lengths, then please feel free to. The telephone is over there on the nightstand. However I should remind you, if it was not already clear, that a number of weeks ago when we began our, in the words of David Cassidy in fact, illicit assignations, I specifically remember asking if you were ever going to call the police at some future date and recall your informing me that this was not going to be the case at any point during the course of our tempestuous relationship.

Oh, you say that whilst I was speaking that you have already called the police and they are about to arrive? Excuse me a moment whilst I escape out of this conveniently located window, will you? Keep the handcuffs.

At the very least I want Hugh Grant to replace the lead in Fifty Shades of Grey now! ("Were you having an orgasm out here in the pouring rain?", "Am I? I could hardly raise the energy to act as if I noticed!")

(And it goes without saying that of course you are going to have ants crawling all over you if you continually spread strawberry jam all over yourself and go rolling about in a wooded glade! Just don't do that any more and I'll sure they'll stop bothering your more intimate areas!)

[Gregory]

Uh-oh, looks like A Horse for the Summer, Storm Rider, and The Greening of Whitney Brown aren't Family Approved! Do I dare watch those to see what kind of filthy smut they contain that caused the Dove Foundation to withhold their seal of approval?

Inspirational platitudes are nice and all, but some of those taglines could have been improved.
A Gift Horse. Don't look it in the mouth!
Our Wild Hearts. They shared a bond with Ricky Schroder that got them into this movie.

[CSM126]

I never knew C. Thomas Howell and Dean Cain liked horses that much.

[willoneill]

"Horses" is a euphemism for "the ability to make mortgage payments", right?

[domino harvey]

[dx23]

[dx23]

[jindianajonz]

I think Gary's neck collapsed under the weight of his hairpiece

[Feego]

[domino harvey]

That thing has an MSRP of seventy dollars

[ShellOilJunior]

No rope included for the paint can? I guess they didn't want to be liable.

[flyonthewall2983]

That fake spider could give someone with arachnophobia a stroke.

[manicsounds]

[tenia]

I'm trying to figure out what could the movie be about based on these 4. :-k

[domino harvey]

It's a Paul Sorvino-hosted science show ala Cosmos

[Lemmy Caution]

In the 70's there was a Chiller Theater weekly program featuring classic horror films on Channel 11 in NYC.
The opening memorably had a 6-fingered hand rise from a swamp, and then pull the CHILLER letters down with it, while a creepy voice deeply intoned Chiiiilllllllerrr.

Uh, no relation ....

[zedz]

These are all impressively ghastly. That first one looks like Sorvino was captured by the papparazzi on his way out of his local pizza joint, and the second one seems to have Oi Oi Oi! written all over the background. That last one takes the cake however, and it's probably the only one that actually relates to the film (which might have originally been titled "The Man With Three Nostrils").

[EricJ]

I'm trying to figure out what could the movie be about based on these 4. :-k

It's not a bad TV-movie, from (the late ) Wes Craven's late-70's/early-80's "exile" TV years between The Hills Have Eyes and Nightmare on Elm Street--
But being a TV movie, it's disposed off to cheap PD companies, and gets any cover they can Photoslop onto it without having to go to the trouble of showing any actual image from it.

So don't even bother to look up the covers to "Invitation to Hell"; it's just not worth the effort, considering that one's not too bad from the Exile years either.

[tenia]

That first one looks like Sorvino was captured by the papparazzi on his way out of his local pizza joint

I guess that was the normal family life he was living until science stepped in and told him he should stop eating so many pizzas.

[EricJ]

I guess that was the normal family life he was living until science stepped in and told him he should stop eating so many pizzas.

Actually, the Science-Stepped-In Guy is Michael Beck from "The Warriors" and "Xanadu", in the fourth cover, although it's sort of hard to tell, since he's frozen in carbonite. (Well, he is frozen, in the movie.)
Needless to say, Paul Sorvino was a bigger sell.

[mfunk9786]

Can we spoiler tag the Zebub covers or something? They're 10000% NSFW