Fake Criterion Covers

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Kinsayder · #351 Post by **Kinsayder** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:55 pm

The Glue Man wrote:

"There was a thick fog across the bay that morning, dense and ominous like a Photoshop Cutout filter..."

#352 Post by **swo17** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:57 pm

We all know this will happen eventually:

cgray · #353 Post by **cgray** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:07 pm

oldsheperd wrote:What's with the halfpipe house on the cover of Un Chien Andalou? I totally wanna live there and skate that ramp.

Look closer: its a half pipe-tennis court house. Great fun!

Cinephrenic · #354 Post by **Cinephrenic** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:34 pm

Michael Bay and the recent Hollywood output wants to make me puke. After seeing the ridiculous ratings for Transformers on IMDB, i've noticed that Michael Bay is set to produce a remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds, and Friday the 13th...probably going to be called Jason Takes Baghdad or some shit like that.It makes sense, there is a lose of creativity in Hollywood, so just remake everything from earlier decades. Godard was right.

#355 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:54 pm

I would actually rent a film called Jason Takes Baghdad out of perverse curiosity.

#356 Post by **Matt** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:31 am

domino harvey wrote:I would actually rent a film called Jason Takes Baghdad out of perverse curiosity.

In this era of Hollywood wish fulfillment (c.f. 24, Iron Man, etc.), it doesn't seem all that far-fetched.

And seriously, any Transformers cover ought to use this image. It brings out the wistful melancholy of the film and the complicated relationships between humans and automobiles. Swimminghorses, get on it.

EDIT: Here, I did it myself:

I give myself a B-. I don't like where I cropped her hand, but I'm not spending more than 10 minutes on something that's not all that funny.

#357 Post by **swo17** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:41 am

Matt wrote:And seriously, any Transformers cover ought to use this image.

You are not wrong, but I was kind of going for something along the lines of Criterion's Armageddon cover.

Murdoch · #358 Post by **Murdoch** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:14 am

Cinephrenic wrote:Michael Bay is set to produce a remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds, and Friday the 13th...probably going to be called Jason Takes Baghdad or some shit like that.It makes sense, there is a lose of creativity in Hollywood, so just remake everything from earlier decades. Godard was right.

His production company is also working on a remake of Rosemary's Baby, if he ever decides to tarnish Repulsion's good name I'm going to have to start cracking skulls. I really don't like Michael Bay.

#359 Post by **swo17** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:55 am

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack this thread into a Michael Bay screed. I don't like him either. Hopefully this will get things back on track. I apologize in advance if it triggers anyone's epilepsy:

Murdoch · #360 Post by **Murdoch** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:27 am

Speaking of Repulsion

I did the best with the text provided (I was using Paint.net, I don't have photoshop).

Doctor Sunshine · Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:30 am

Matt wrote:I give myself a B-. I don't like where I cropped her hand...

Not to denigrate your effort but here is the correct cropping:

tavernier · #362 Post by **tavernier** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 12:02 pm

Doctor Sunshine wrote:
Matt wrote:I give myself a B-. I don't like where I cropped her hand...
Not to denigrate your effort but here is the correct cropping:

Greatest fucking cover ever.

carax09 · #363 Post by **carax09** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:11 pm

All the kids are wearing those underarm rings these days.

tavernier · #364 Post by **tavernier** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:38 pm

But only under one arm.

PimpPanda · #365 Post by **PimpPanda** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:55 am

A not very good but I would actually love to see this film released cover:

fiddlesticks · #366 Post by **fiddlesticks** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 2:14 am

"A Masterpiece by"...nice touch.

PimpPanda · #367 Post by **PimpPanda** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 2:23 am

It was actually stolen from the poster.

I wanted to pretty much use the exact same thing, but I ended up just changing it because I couldn't get the quotes off of it.

#368 Post by **swo17** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:00 pm

miless · #369 Post by **miless** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:36 pm

I wonder how many people would return the movie (either at a store or to a rental shop) complaining that it must be broken because it's in B&W?

A color photo, although similar in composition, is far away from the feel of Marienbad.

Cinephrenic · #370 Post by **Cinephrenic** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:05 pm

You should stick to B&W for this film.

#371 Post by **Jeff** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:18 pm

All you really need to do for Marienbad is slap a Wacky C on this and remove the bit about the new print. I like Keiko Kimura's illustration for the Rialto release too, but I can't seem to find a pic of that now.

Kinsayder · #372 Post by **Kinsayder** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:32 pm

Rialto image here.

I'd like to see a cover for Marienbad that avoids that clichéd view of the gardens. It's not as if there aren't any other striking images in the film.

Jean-Luc Garbo · #373 Post by **Jean-Luc Garbo** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:44 am

tavernier wrote:
Doctor Sunshine wrote:
Matt wrote:I give myself a B-. I don't like where I cropped her hand...
Not to denigrate your effort but here is the correct cropping:

Greatest fucking cover ever.

Matt and Doctor Sunshine made my day.

Cinephrenic · #374 Post by **Cinephrenic** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:49 am

Gotta love that abdomen on her!

#375 Post by **swo17** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:41 am

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