'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[Adam X]

well LexG, appologies for misjudging your experience. lost sight of my number one rule for internet use (don't slag off people or things on the internet. it's cheap and narrow minded).
that said, I'm just not going to say anymore on this topic.

[wattsup32]

Feel free to google my years of posts on Hollywood Elsewhere to see I absolutely know what I am talking about.

I did and the first post of his I found was:
LexG says ...

That top picture is HOT. I wish I had a life where I could MEET or TALK TO or BE IN THE SAME ROOM with HOT WOMEN. LOOK AT THEM with their little legs and earrings and LITTLE OUTFITS and bare feet. HOT. You know what I get to do? I get to go to the POST HOUSE for 12 hours a day, every day, six days a week, LAYING BACK VIDEO and TRANSFERRING B-ROLL and scanning mpegs FRAME BY FRAME while my hair falls out from stress, destroying my mental well being while working on the furthest, postiest fringes of the industry.

The only two women I've talked to in a fucking MONTH are like the Pollo Loco cashier who's 60 and the Albertson's clerk who's 61. Whole days, weeks, months go by without speaking to women, I work in a Sausage Factory where it's all surly dudes talking up their band's NEXT GIG AT THE KNITTING FACTORY.

I'm of course pissed that I'M NOT FAMOUS and can't command pussy like MARK WAHLBERG GOD OF THE PLANET, but like, seriously, I don't even MEET normal women, I don't get to talk to any women, because to even live and remain in L.A. you have to make 1000 dollars a week to pay rent. Hence working DOUCHE-ASS jobs that DO NOT PAY and never getting to party on rooftops with AWESOME women in their LITTLE OUTFITS.

I might as well be in fucking St Louis for as much as I get to enjoy all the L.A. supposedly has to offer.

Now let's see if I can seal the deal and go the next *60 YEARS* without sex.

So, I guess it's clear; he does, in fact, know what he's talking about.

[Numero Trois]

Sounds like he majored in sausage studies

[Gregory]

... Whole days, weeks, months go by without speaking to women, I work in a Sausage Factory ...

Do you live with your crazy, sausage-obsessed father, by any chance?

[Mr Sausage]

I find this all very gratifying.

Carry on.

[Numero Trois]

... Whole days, weeks, months go by without speaking to women, I work in a Sausage Factory ...

Do you live with your crazy, sausage-obsessed father, by any chance?

Whoever directed that KITH sketch has some solid filmmaking chops. At least judging from that. Certainly more effective than any SNL short I've seen. Of course it helps that the writing and performances are spot on. As always with them.

[HistoryProf]

... Whole days, weeks, months go by without speaking to women, I work in a Sausage Factory ...

Do you live with your crazy, sausage-obsessed father, by any chance?

I love you for posting this. I always think of it whenever anyone says "sausage factory" and no one ever knows what i'm talking about. it's brilliance is unmatched.

[HistoryProf]

I'm 37, and I have a degree in Film Studies.

Feel free to google my years of posts on Hollywood Elsewhere to see I absolutely know what I am talking about.

Thanks for reading though.

and yet you have no conception of historical context when it comes to films older than you. "OLD MOVIE MUSIC!!" is not a critique of a film, it's a critique of your incredible lack of understanding of what you are watching. Just because Night of the Hunter wasn't made in 1990 doesn't mean it sucks...and your rant about it is among the most puerile posts I've ever read...and does you no favors to brag about having a degree in film studies. Please don't say from where, as the school is likely to sue for damages.

[aox]

Thread title should now include "Crazy People" in addition to Critics and Customers.

[Murdoch]

Old Movie Music gave me a good laugh, bravo LexG. This guy's a goddamn goldmine of rediculous, he's the perfect conglomerate of Armond White and Ben Lyons, ineptitude and complete lack of self-awareness.

He also seems to have a strange fetish for women's "little outfits." I fear for humanity.

[BillWatkins]

IMDb user review of Knight and Day:

When I first saw the trailer while in the theater for Avatar, which was an AWESOME movie and i loved the environmental message in it! The effects were astounding and candy to the naked human eye! Anyway back to the Knight and Day trailer! When I first saw it while at the theater for Avatar which was an awesome movie, I first thought it was a good trailer before the movie Avatar! I thought the chemistry between Tom and Cam was Nsync! Sort of how the Nav'i were Nsync in Avatar! back to the movie. Overall this was a bad movie and the only reason why i give it a 10 out of 10 was because the chemistry was superb between Tom and Cam Sort of how the chemistry between the Nav'i and the guy who wants his legs back...his real legs! I said it before and i'll say it again it was a terrible movie and the only reason i give it a 10 out of 10 is because of the chemistry was just spot on between Cam and Tom!

[Steven H]

That has to be a joke, still funny though. The same person wrote this about Toy Story 3:

I went to go see it at the movie theater with my sister - in - law. I was 9 years old when the first one came out and fell in love with it. I have to say it was well worth the money and the wait! The movie had me crying and i had to hold my sister - in - law's hand! I have to say the visuals simply top notch. And it's a great family flick! My sister - in - law loved it also. Now me, my sister, my brother, my brother - in - law, and my sister - in law are all going to see it this Sunday again! I might also take the grand kids with us and we'll go to popeye's after! Anyways back to the movie! As i said before and i'll say it again, Pixar has done it again!

[matrixschmatrix]

That has to be a joke, still funny though. The same person wrote this about Toy Story 3:

I went to go see it at the movie theater with my sister - in - law. I was 9 years old when the first one came out and fell in love with it. I have to say it was well worth the money and the wait! The movie had me crying and i had to hold my sister - in - law's hand! I have to say the visuals simply top notch. And it's a great family flick! My sister - in - law loved it also. Now me, my sister, my brother, my brother - in - law, and my sister - in law are all going to see it this Sunday again! I might also take the grand kids with us and we'll go to popeye's after! Anyways back to the movie! As i said before and i'll say it again, Pixar has done it again!

Having grandkids at 24 would be quite the accomplishment

[Morbii]

... Whole days, weeks, months go by without speaking to women, I work in a Sausage Factory ...

Do you live with your crazy, sausage-obsessed father, by any chance?

I love you for posting this. I always think of it whenever anyone says "sausage factory" and no one ever knows what i'm talking about. it's brilliance is unmatched.

Perhaps I'm not as sophisticated, but before clicking on the link, the first thing I thought of was this.

[tenia]

That has to be a joke, still funny though. The same person wrote this about Toy Story 3:

I went to go see it at the movie theater with my sister - in - law. I was 9 years old when the first one came out and fell in love with it. I have to say it was well worth the money and the wait! The movie had me crying and i had to hold my sister - in - law's hand! I have to say the visuals simply top notch. And it's a great family flick! My sister - in - law loved it also. Now me, my sister, my brother, my brother - in - law, and my sister - in law are all going to see it this Sunday again! I might also take the grand kids with us and we'll go to popeye's after! Anyways back to the movie! As i said before and i'll say it again, Pixar has done it again!

Having grandkids at 24 would be quite the accomplishment

Maybe not his, but her sister-in-law's. :-"

[Bennie]

here's what I'm saying when I gripe about old movies. They just didn't have it down yet.... It's like they didn't have QC down yet or something...

So, does this mean he didn't like 'The Passion Of Joan Of Arc' either???

[wattsup32]

Here is an amazon review of "The Conversation" posted by Pancho:

Man I thought this would be an interesting movie because of Francis Ford Coppola, was I wrong. This was so boring, there was absolutely nothing interesting in this movie what so ever. If you want to see Gene Hackman doing some surveillance work just buy ENEMY OF THE STATE if you haven't already. What a dissappointment.

That was copied and pasted, so the spelling errors belong to Pancho. I love how passionately he advocates for EOTS based on the fact that someone might be into the sub-sub-sub-genre "Gene Hackman doing some surveillance work."

[domino harvey]

Warren Baetty = prick
Yes back in 2000 I rented this garbage it wasted an hour and half and 18 minutes of my life the only decent film was Dick Tracey anyway a very talentless prick.
Published 20 months ago by J. Paul

I just enjoyed the way this guy divided up the time he wasted

[Markson]

An amazing Ghostbusters review from Amazon, uncredited, but titled "A Kid's Review." I seriously cannot tell if was written by a crazed, hyper-conservative mother, her kid, both, or none of the above. The spelling and formatting are from the original:

"6 of 86 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars HORRIBLE LANGUAGE!, October 3, 2004
A Kid's Review
This review is from: Ghostbusters (DVD)
The movie is great and I was so excited to see it but they include horrible words not even for kids 10-! My family and I had to count how many we caught! It is PG and it sure did scare me!

It's about 4 friends that think they can fight ghosts... but one day they get this call from this lady that thinks she has a ghost in her frezer, she sees a small little world and the lady's eggs are cracking and boiling when they are on the counter not being watched or even toutched!

Only one of the ghostbusters come, thinking that is is small only needing one ghostbuster, he checks the lady's freezer and sees that nothing is there, he trys to make the lady think that her freezer is empty-noo ghosts! FINALLY the lady says ok I believe you but she really thinks something is there, but as h e is leaving he admits that he really likes her but the lady thinks he is VERY crazy so she doesn't want himm to like her!

Later they see eachother in a store and one of the ghostbusters asks to go on a date with the lady and of course she doesn't really want to but somehow she does.

When the date was planned the ghostbuster arrives at her house, but right before he comes the lady looks in her freezer and sees a small little world like last time!

She closes her freezer and hears the doorbell, it is the ghostbuster! He comes in but it is not the same lady she is a mean old something anything but nice lady like she was!

That's all I saw.."

[knives]

Just one of about a dozen of the stupidly revisionist sort on the It's a Wonderful Life page.

As additional information about this release became available after I wrote my initial review, I have decided to go back and revise my comments as follows: the DVD is in B&W after all. And that's as it SHOULD be. Those complaining that the movie on this disc was not colorized probably prefer full-frame DVDs over properly letterboxed ones too. So, just so we're all clear here: this 'new' DVD is basically the same as the 'old' DVD. It has new color cover art which is very misleading, and for that reason I will retain my one-star rating. The film itself, of course, gets five stars.

[HistoryProf]

I do HATE it when they put colorized covers on black and white films though. It's deliberately misleading and is begging for the kind of response it gets from the uninformed masses. There is just no reason to do it. Use poster art or something....but don't colorize a still from the film itself.

[PillowRock]

But a lot of the original lobby cards and such *were* colorized production stills.

[Numero Trois]

Yeah, but movies back then were mostly in b&w. No one in 1946 would confuse a still with the actual movie. Either way, I think it's just a matter of a minority few who don't want to read. The Amazon listing for the DVD describes it exactly. And surely the back of the DVD case does the same.

Someone on the Netflix Community Forum started a group called "Lobby against letterboxing"

It is time for the content providers to overcome the misguided idea that letterboxing of programming on television in any way improves or enhances the viewing of the programming itself. It is time to give the viewer some control over how the programming content is presented on our screens. I am tired, frustrated and completely alienated by the content providers that choose to diminish my experience by forcing a shrunken image onto half of my screen just to satisfy someones selfish vision of how the picture should be presented.

Thankfully, he was shouted down.

[aox]

I can't believe there is still a single person on this planet still trying to rekindle this debate in the year 2010. They literally have nothing on their side except......well, their own selfish vision.

[Michael Kerpan]

This sounds _very_ like the same person who previously surfaced (under various names) in numerous forums -- same points and rhetorical "style".